by David Jonathan Valentin
Before the Madrid Convocation, many people in my life passed away unexpectedly, and it made me doubt God. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in God anymore, but I doubted Him. At first, I felt bad and tried to remove that thought. But, after a time, when I found myself doubting God I didn’t even really care. I gave in to it and meditated on my doubts. Suddenly, I didn’t know why I went to church or why I even believed in God.
I was so focused on the losses that I experienced in the recent years that I couldn’t see the blessings of God anymore. I didn’t think that God wanted to punish me, but I started asking myself if God even really existed. I stopped thinking like a Christian and started thinking in a very secular way. I would say things like, “if God doesn’t want me to do something, then He should try and stop me.” And I definitely didn’t want to go to the Convocation in Madrid, because I didn’t want to spend a week with people gathered just to talk about the God that I doubted.
Obviously God didn’t want me to miss out, however, because I ended up in Madrid and at the Convocation. Still, I didn’t expect anything, even sitting in the room for the youth sessions, until Fr. Terry Gensemer got up to speak.
Fr. Terry told us how children are being aborted, even after birth. As he spoke, I kept thinking of my nephew, who was born in less than perfect circumstances. I couldn’t bear the thought of him being aborted, and the more I thought of his little face, the more I realized what a blessing he was. I realized that, amidst all the hardships and all the lives that God called back in the past few years, I had failed to see the blessings that God had still given. Even more, I realized that every life God called back was a sacred one. Every one of the people I lost believed and loved God with all of their hearts. Each of them tried to bring me closer to God and wanted to make sure that I loved and believed in Him with my whole heart.
During the Rally at Puerta del Sol, God spoke to me again. While we were singing and raising our hands during worship, I felt great! I felt free and I didn’t want to stop. Then during the silent prayer God told me that if I would just trust Him and leave everything to Him, I can always feel like I felt while singing. He made me realize that, no matter what happens, He will be there for me. I can always turn to Him, and if I leave things in His hands then everything is taken care of.
Now I am working on my relationship with God and, over time and with His help, getting rid of all the doubt I have. I never realized, until now, that if I allow Him to take over the planning my life then I can have a blessed life, because His planning is perfect.
Because of this Convocation, I know what I want to be in God’s church and how I can be one of his very own warriors. God has a wonderful plan for every single person, and who are we to interfere in His plan in life? Thanks to the All Life is Sacred rally and the Convocation, itself, I was able to open my eyes to the truth, which is God.